Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Are They True?

Are they true?

Are the promises that the word has spoken true?
If you were to have asked me that 4 years I go I would have said without a doubt.
If you were to ask me today, I would say that I hope so.
I'm not so sure anymore.
I had dinner with a group of friends tonight.
All was well and at the drop of a hat,
I feel tears welling up in my eyes.
So I left.
I drove home,
Tears streaming down my face.
That's not who I am.
I'm the strong one.
The one people run to when they need support.
The one that others look to for security.
I've never been the sad one,
The one without hope.
I hate this feeling.
It's not me.
I've hidden these feelings and thoughts for so long
That even I don't know how to respond to them.
This is new territory.
I'm SO broken.
So saddened.
So burdened.
So heavy hearted.
8 years ago God almost took my life.
I remember sitting in the hospital bed at the lowest place
Of my life up to that point.
I had a conversation with God.
I told Him that I had always been told that everything He did had a purpose and that He can and will turn bad into good.
He had been faithful in that promise up until then but I believed that my then problem was bigger than He.
I wished Him luck at fixing me and turning something so bad into something good.
He remained faithful.
He reminded me of the verse Jeremiah 29:11-13.
"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord.
Plans to prosper you and not to harm you.
Plans to give you hope and a future.
Then you will call on me and come and pray to me,
and I will listen to you.
You will seek me and find me
When you seek me with all your heart."
8 years ago I chose that as my life verse.
I wish I still believed it in my core like I once did.
I do know that He is capable.
I do know that He is powerful.
But I also know that I am broken.
That I am lost.


  1. I felt as you feel for a long time. I did feel like broken glass inside. I felt like every time I tried to get up, I got knocked down again. What helped me climb out of depression was doing what Joyce Meyer says, quote scripture out loud and realize you don't have to let your feelings rule your life.

    Those two things turned my life around. I no longer wake up wishing I were dead. I can actually enjoy my days, even when some bad things happen. I started quoting or reading Bible verses out loud. I did it every morning and sometimes through the day. Joyce says the evil angels who whisper depressing things to us cannot stay where scripture is spoken.

    When I feel sad, I say to myself, "I don't have to go with this feeling. I can stop it by thinking something positive in its place." And that is what I do. I hope this helps you in your life as it has helped me in mine. God bless you and keep you.

  2. Hey you...I want you to know...I have been where you are, I don't know your story but I relate to your words...if you need an ear, I am here...without judgement. xo, Tara


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